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“After a large mass of people continue to kill that woman even after the death…” 

 Did the tragedy in Gyumri, which resulted in the death of a 43-year-old mother and her 13-year-old daughter fighting a death, change something about our perceptions of domestic violence? Or will we continue to silence and tolerate violence by finding NGOs guilty for demonizing the reality of women’s rights… Or we will continue to doubt the statistics, saying that they are only a few cases…. And we will cordially deal with the deaths of at least ten women each year as a result of domestic violence, finding justification for every single event …

 

Unfortunately, our stereotyped society is sincerely convinced that it is easier to die from shame than to acknowledge the problems in the family, even when dying is not just an allegory … As a result, we prefer to fit into the comfort zone of false godliness, because it is always painful to accept the truth. Another day, when silence is no longer screaming, muffling, and stinging, the cry of someone next to us is reaching us, but it’s too late. This is exactly what happened in Gyumri… After the woman’s death it turned out that everyone, the neighbors, the acquaintances knew that something was not right in the family, but they did not interfere. It is assumed that they were also aware at school, as it is very difficult to hide the bruises of the body and the soul, but teachers will never admit it, because if  neighbors are not held accountable, it will not be the case for teachers.

 

Domestic violence is a case where you do not have to wait until someone asks for help, you must act, otherwise it will be late. One should not justify one’s own inactivity with a very convenient but self-deceptive reasoning “other’s family is not my business”. It is the business of us all, as we live in that society…

 

Some of the posts on the Gyumri case on social networks are just terrifying … At the same time, there are sobering comments … Gyumri journalist Armenuhi Vardanyan’s post belongs exactly to them.

 

“Discussions on the 43-year-old woman who died as a result of the brutal beating on March 5th do not stop. One of the members of the so-called Public Council had opened his mouth … And a large mass continues to kill and kill that woman after her death … A large part of society condemns her to death, yes.

 

If there were any mistakes in the woman’s life, she paid for them with her death … She is no more alive,  she was killed at the age of 43 by a fist. And her daughter fights death … Do you understand that …?

 

PS Studies show that Armenian society tends to justify domestic violence.

  • In some cases a woman deserves being beaten; 35% of men and 21% of women agree with this statement;
  • If a woman betrays a man, then the latter can hit the woman, ”55.4% of those surveyed believe that marital infidelity is a just fair cause for violence;
  • When a woman is raped, she usually does something by putting herself in that situation. 40.9% of men and 24.2% of women think so (!!);
  • Woman must tolerate violence for the sake of family unity. 44.6% of men and 27.8% of women agree with this statement;

 

These data come from a 2016 UN Population Fund Survey of Men and Gender Equality in Armenia. Has the situation changed in the country in these four years? Unfortunately no.

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